Anger

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Today I had my therapy session. It was mainly to find out where I am now in my recovery from trauma. I am doing well but I still have a long way to go.

It dawned on me today that I have a lot of pent up anger inside me. I have never really “dealt” with it and it’s disturbing. I control myself well where the anger is concerned but sometimes little things set me off and I experience moodiness. On days like these, I won’t say anything. My fiance’ goes nuts when I’m quiet. He’s always telling me it’s not normal for a woman. I’ve never been one to talk just for the sake of talking. If I don’t have anything to say, I don’t talk. He then asks me, “Are you okay, Girl?” Of course, once is fine. I’m so fortunate to have such a thoughtful man by my side. But, he’ll ask me this every 15 to 20 minutes until I begin feeling angry and end up getting snappy with my answers. Then, he REALLY thinks something is wrong and I just end up being frustrated.

Ephesians 4:26 says, ” ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” It’s getting harder for me to keep my anger in check. I am angry with being attacked, I am angry at being betrayed by the ones I loved the most, and I’m angry that I’m angry. Does that make sense?

I feel better acknowledging it but I want to overcome the rage inside and honor God with my life. Anger is an emotion…a very strong emotion. If I don’t allow the Lord to protect me, I’m liable to be swallowed up by this. I don’t want that. I have to keep reminding myself that anger is a “normal” response for what I’ve been through but it’s “not normal” to hold onto that anger and let it rule my responses. If I hold onto my anger, I am letting those who hurt me win in the end. I am giving them control over my emotions and becoming a victim all over again.

So, what do I plan to do about this? Well, I plan to pray to God to break the stronghold of anger in my life and replace it with His mercy and compassion. I plan on acknowledging my sins before God and ask Him to forgive me. I will NOT allow anger to short change me. Anger is good at the appropriate time but staying angry is NOT. As the old adage goes, I will let go and let God.

Jesus Is

Jesus is light…

Light Of The World
Shattering all darkness.

Shatter the Darkness
He is Truth…

Jesus Is Truth
Silencing all doubts.

Jesus Defeated Doubt
He is life…

Jesus Is Life
Defeating death.

Jesus Defeated Death

May these precious truths bring new joy and faith to your heart as you celebrate Jesus’ resurrection!

Jesus saith unto him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by Me.”
John 14:6

Bridge of Christ

The writing is taken from the Easter Devotional Series in DaySpring.com . I added the pictures from graphics I found online through google.com . I also read Unshakable Hope’s blog and was inspired by the poem he wrote and how he placed the pictures.

Burr Pond

Beauty of God's Creation on Burr Pond_a The LORD has done it this very day; let us rejoice today and be glad.

~Psalm 118:24~

Today is such a beautiful day. After the snow and freezing rain, who would have thought Spring would finally arrive?! I’m feeling pretty good. It’s still cold out but the pain is less than it has been. I’m just enjoying this reprieve. The sun is shining so brightly and the air is still. If there wasn’t snow on the ground, it would be a perfect day to enjoy a cup of coffee overlooking Burr Pond. Then, perhaps enjoy a canoe trip where I could take a lot of pictures. I am definitely getting Spring fever!

I love spending time outdoors. It draws me closer to God. I am amazed at His creation and inspired by its beauty. I can picture the clear blue sky over the pond. I can see the lily pads lining the water. The birds are singing high above the treetops. A lone beaver slaps his tail on the surface of the pond. It’s so peaceful out here. The gentle gliding of the canoe makes a swishing sound as it passes through the water.  A fish swims by and hides within the maze of plants. I just love it here.

These are some of the photo’s I took on the last trip to Burr Pond. It was a bit overcast but the rain held off. My son and I were watching a little frog jump around in the mud. It was the cutest thing. I love spending time near the water. It’s always so peaceful and therapeutic.

Looking at His Reflection_a

The Bible often talks about the beauty of the Lord and just how much BETTER heaven will be than here on earth. My mind can’t seem to wrap around this concept. I know it’s true but when I see some of the beauty around me I wonder how anything could become MORE beautiful. I look at the flowers and am amazed by their perfection. I watch the squirrels and the birds and can’t comprehend the detail that went into creating such creatures. To think there is something more beautiful to look forward to! God’s creation is amazing and to think we are created in His image…WOW!

Burr Pond_a

At the Foot of the Cross Sung By Carol Shinde

I wanted to share this recording of me singing “At the Foot of the Cross”. I sang this song at church the week after I left the hospital. I had been severely depressed and I had tried to take my life. While at the hospital, I experienced God’s love for me in a way I never had. This song holds a lot of sentiment for me. I hope you are blessed by this recording.

Blessings,

Carol

At the Foot of the Cross sung by Carol Shinde

From Trish Robichaud’s website www.myoptimalhealthclub.org

Spirit of the Phoenix: Trish Robichaud and Carol Shinde

I’ve had health issues as long as I can remember but doctors would just conclude that my illnesses were due to depression and mental issues. I knew I had depression but I never believed that my health issues were in my head. Married for almost 9 years to a man who was emotionally and physically abusive at times, I didn’t believe I was being abused.

Carol Shinde is now a divorced single mom who has allowed herself to mourn the loss of the life she once knew. Today, she recognizes the possibilities for growth and renewal that have come her way through the painful process she has had to endure.

Join us and hear her story that mirrors that of the Phoenix. She was burned-out and feeling lifeless back then; now she is soaring with a mission to draw others into a life of hope and renewal through her unfailing faith and spirit.

~Trish Robichaud~

Listen to
internet radio with Trish Robichaud on Blog Talk Radio

Valuable

4 Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples. So he left Judea and went back once more to Galilee.

Now he had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon.

When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.[a])

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”

11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”

17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”

~Mark 4:1-26~

I love this passage. It speaks so closely to my life. This is such a perfect example of Jesus’ love for each and every one of us. He loves us just as we are and where we are. No matter how sinful our past or present, Jesus still offers Himself freely.

He speaks so plainly to the woman at the well. He doesn’t judge her. He ministers to her where she is and gives her the future He has to offer her.

I long to show this same kind of love towards others. Jesus set such a clear example and I want to be an example too. Sometimes our lives are complicated because of circumstances outside of our control but that doesn’t change the love Jesus has for us.

I want to value others the way Jesus valued this woman at the well…the way He values me. I want to value myself this way as well.

“Dear Heavenly Father, help me to more consciously value all people, even myself. I want to give daily of myself so that I can improve the day of everyone I meet and so that every day can be my best day. Amen.” 

~”Make Every Day Your Best Day” First Place 4 Health Bible Study Series~

Winter Blues

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“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

~Ecclesiastes 3:1~

It’s already mid-March and yet another storm is on the way…ugh! I sure wish winter was over.

Does anyone else experience more pain in the joints and muscles when the pressure changes in the atmosphere? I know I do. I also experience more dizziness and falling episodes.

What are some things you do to get your mind off the pain? I write and surf the web. Sometimes I’ll listen to music and I will catch up on Law and Order episodes on Netflix while I lay down on the sofa or my bed.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says there is a time and season for everything. I guess my activities during these times are to wait it out and rely on God to give me the strength to get through the moment.

I remember a time when my grandmother was still with us. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia way before the time it was even accepted as a real disorder. There was the stigma that it was all in her head and her depression caused the pain in the first place. My family never took her seriously about her illness. She was in so much pain and people just shrugged their shoulders and chalked it up for hypochondria. It was so sad.

In 2002, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and the reality of this disorder hit me like a ton of bricks. I was constantly tired and the pain I experienced was excruciating. Unfortunately, it hasn’t changed much over the years. Some flare-ups are worse than others. I certainly have much more empathy though and my family is much more compassionate as well.

So, despite the weather, I’ll continue to trust God in His infinite wisdom. I’m not just saying this. I have the privilege to experience life through a godly perspective through His Word and through prayer. I am able to be thankful for the pain as well. I’m not a masochist. If I had a choice to live without pain, I would take it in a heartbeat. However, I haven’t experienced a miraculous healing yet. Who knows?! Maybe one day I will but until then I will be thankful in every circumstance I am given and count if a joy to take part in Jesus’ suffering.

So, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. It is beautiful and I am blessed to have a warm house to live in and a wonderful family to experience my life with. In the meantime, I’ll just focus on other things to keep my mind off the pain.

  Storm Charlotte: My home during the snowstorm. You can’t even see the truck.

My house during the Blizzard of 2013

My son standing next to my car in the driveway.

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WORD!

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